Editors Note: This is the beginning of a short story I read aloud at Noir At A Bar (Timothy’s, West Chester PA) on November 14. As each writer was limited to seven minutes stage time, I only read the first two sections of this story. I’m gong to finish it and post the whole thing here, in four separate parts. Please return to this site on November 30 to read Part 2. (The image is the classic 1881 illustration of Santa Claus by Thomas Nast, courtesy of Wikipedia.)
November 23, 2018 Black Friday
An unpublished letter received by The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Today, The Houston Chronicle, The Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Times and The Onion. ( Editor’s Note: For full effect, read aloud in a voice/tone similar to Sean Connery and/or Christopher Steele.)
The name is Agent. Secret Agent.
MI6 precisely, if you must know. Please heed my warning.
The celebration of Christmas is now a global phenomenon.
In the United States alone, more than 94 million homes, or 79% of all households, will display a Christmas tree.
Santa Claus will make 640 millions stops around the word before Christmas Eve ends.
The timing couldn’t be better for the long-dormant plans of subversion to come to life.
This year, celebrate the righteous Christ rather than the commercial Christmas.
Do not display a tree. Do not engage in gift-giving. Protect your children and yourself.
This message has been sent to major newspapers, television and radio news sources across the world.
Publish my letter as soon as possible and avoid being scooped on the story.
And save the world from a descent into unethical, unprincipled chaos.
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